ALL remaining public assets are to be transferred to Richard Branson to see what he does with them.
Following the sell-off of the East Coast mainline to Virgin, Branson has been asked to take charge of the NHS, the Highways Agency, Revenue & Customs and the Royal Family.
The entrepreneur, one of two which the public can name, is widely trusted because of his beard, smile and the huge enduring affection for Tubular Bells.
Delivery driver Stephen Malley said: “I think Branson’s great because he doesn’t wear a bowler hat, unlike a lot of these stuck-up types you get.
“If I could I’d sign my entire pension over to him to do whatever he likes with. Even if he lost the lot I’d respect him for having a go.”
Branson said: “It’s a lovely offer, but unfortunately I’ve already got a private island and that one’s somewhere nice.
“Maybe see if Dragon’s Den are interested?”