Thursday, 6th May 2021

Farmers and fishermen urged to pay attention to how farming and fishing works

FARMERS and fishermen outraged about Brexit disruption should have learned the basics about who they sell products to, experts have advised. 

With meat and fish rotting at ports, the Institute for Studies has suggested food producers should have Googled questions like ‘What is an export?’, ‘Where do pigs go after I put them in the lorry?’ and ‘Do fish go off?’

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “Well, I guess now is as good a time as any to learn about the job you’ve been doing for decades in a magical journey of discovery.

“Believe it or not, products going to other countries need checks by ‘customs officers’. You can’t just stick sheep in a Land Rover and sell them in Belgium. Well, you used to be able to, but not now. Remember there was a ‘customs union’? You didn’t like it?

“And crabs. Did you know they don’t fill in their own phytosanitary certificates allowing them to be exported? I did, but then I’m not a fisherman.”

Farmer Wayne Hayes said: “I went on the laptop and it turns out Brits don’t buy 2,000 hogs to make into salami and knackwurst, and that all this time I’ve been selling to Italians and Germans. Marcello and Klaus never mentioned it.

“Of course, all this could still be Project Fear. They’re sneaky.”