ALL work done on Friday afternoon is to be replaced by an art class or physical exercise.
Accepting the utter futility of Friday afternoons, companies across the country will offer pottery and watercolour lessons and a chaotic game of football in the car park.
Accounts assistant Emma Bradford said: “I usually spend Friday afternoon avoiding any work that might risk me having to stay later than five o’clock.
“But now that I’m going to be doing a mosaic of the sunset, I don’t mind sticking around until it’s finished.”
Company director Martin Bishop added: “Everyone hates working here, but I can’t let them go home early because that would make me less of a man. So, fuck it, we’ll turn off all the computers.
“Those who don’t want to play 30-a-side football can go to the staff room and paint Brian, the caretaker, in a life art class.
“He is quite spectacular.”