TECH giant Google has decided that sexism and tax no longer exist, it has emerged.
As it continues to be dogged by allegations of gender discrimination and tax avoidance, Google has simply decided to terminate both concepts.
A Google spokesman said: “When Google first started up we were just a bunch of idealistic little geeks who wanted girls to think we were cool, so we came up with the motto ‘Don’t be evil’.
“However, it rapidly turned out that we did in fact want to be evil, because we discovered that having loads of money and power is actually way cooler than being good and paying tax.
“We are currently building a secret lair in a volcano in Nevada, where we will breed an army of humanzees to take over the world.
“In the mean time we still want everyone to think we’re at least trying to be nice, but rather than address problems we’re just going to pretend they don’t exist. So if you type in ‘sexism’ or ‘tax’ you just get a cool animation of Han Solo or some other pop culture guff.”
He added: “Don’t worry. There will always be porn.”