A SUCCESSFUL City banker has asked everyone to stop suggesting he secretly has a heart of gold.
Tom Logan revealed that acquaintances insist on giving him the benefit of the doubt despite his consistently unpleasant demeanour and frequent boasts of impoverishing small countries.
Logan said: “I like money, bragging about money and actively disparaging anyone who has less money than me.
“I don’t have friends, I have no time for the arts and if I thought I would get away with it I would push you off a cliff.
“But still people assume I must be planning to retire early and set up some kind of philanthropic foundation. Fuck that.”
He added: “I don’t even like dogs.”