Holiday handover note just thinly veiled list of grievances

AN OFFICE worker’s holiday handover email is just a passive aggressive list of reasons she hates her job, it has been revealed.

Underneath her notes about stock rotation, retail buyer Emma Bradford wrote: “Lucy in the London office dropped these on me last week – so apparently the Manchester team is just here to clear up her mess now??

“That’s fucking typical.”

Carolyn Ryan, who will be taking on Emma’s workload said: “No one injects vitriol into a handover like Emma.

“In one section she’s written, ‘I’ll bring you back a crate of ouzo if you can get Mike G to get off his arse and action a single one of my procurement requests.

“In her ‘Pricing logistics’ section, she’s just written ‘DICKS’ nine times in a row.”

Bradford plans to enjoy two weeks in Corfu before returning to work with a sharing box of baklava and a heavy, bitter heart.

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Middle class man unsure if he was mocked by group of working class men

A MAN has been left bewildered by a social interaction with other, more common men.

Tom Booker, a fund manager from Basingstoke, stopped to ask directions from a group of council workers, and found himself wondering if they were mocking him in response.

Booker said: “I said ‘excuse me’ and they all looked at me and grinned, but I don’t think it was a friendly grin.

“I asked them if they knew the way to Eastleigh and one of them said ‘yes mate’ and the others chuckled. How is that funny?

“Then he said ‘Eastleigh, yeah?’ and the others pissed themselves laughing. I wanted to ask what was going on but I didn’t want to be confrontational.

“It’s left me baffled and a bit annoyed, just like that time I couldn’t tell if the plumber’s quote was a joke or not. This is precisely why I spend my free time at Cotswolds spa hotels were everyone is paid to be nice to me.”

Hod carrier Tom Logan said: “An individual with high levels of cultural capital required information from a group with relative cultural deprivation, which we found to be an amusing role-reversal.”