Housing market affected by houses being on fire

ESTATE agents are struggling to find buyers for Britain’s increasing number of on-fire homes, it has emerged.

It's in a desirable area full of coffee shops and delicatessens that are on fire

UK property professionals believe that difficulties in an already-delicate housing market are being compounded by an estimated 36% of available dwellings being ablaze.

Gloucester estate agent Tom Logan said: “It is generally harder to sell a house that’s engulfed in flames. A lot of buyers will say they like it but just can’t quite see themselves living there.

“But the current explosion in things being on fire couldn’t have come at a worse time for sellers.

“However, selling a house is all about marketing and presentation so it’s all about accentuating positives. I always point out how new the flames actually are and that when the firemen have gone home it will be a wonderful blank canvas.

“I would recommend to buyers that they don’t immediately disregard burning houses. After all it’s very likely that if they buy a place that doesn’t already have smoke coming out of it, it soon will, as there are thousands of people out there very keen to set it on fire.”

He added: “And can I just say that compared to the fucked up shit happening today people like me  seem like a twee, PG Wodehouse throwback to a gentler, more humane age.”

First-time buyer Emma Bradford said: “My boyfriend and I have looked at a few burning houses because they’re cheaper and it’s still better than renting.

“Also a place that’s been reduced to a charred skeleton does not involve picking away at loads of dowdy wood chip wallpaper.”