Friday, 7th May 2021

Man who is his own boss should have fired himself a year ago

A SELF-EMPLOYED man has confessed that the business he runs should really have let him go in 2018. 

37-year-old Tom Logan, registered with Companies House as Tom Logan Ltd, has seen his company suffer a 75 per cent drop in productivity over the last two years which has been blamed on Brexit.

However his boss, himself, believes the real problem is a daily homeworking routine that incorporates Twitter, masturbation, Playstation, a lengthy lunch, an afternoon nap and knocking off early.

He said, “Forgive my use of the third person but Tom Logan is a slacker and a parasite on this struggling business.

“I’ve looked him in the eye in the bathroom mirror as he stares back, red-eyed and hungover and warned him that he needs to buck his ideas up. He promises to shape up but next day he’s back on the videogames.

“This would be a better company if I fired him. No one would miss him. There wouldn’t be anyone here to do so.”

But employee Tom Logan said: “If a business isn’t working, look to the top. Tom Logan needs to give Tom Logan a proper kick up the arse but at the end of the day he’s too soft.”