Matalan’s new slogan ‘For the mum who’s given up on life’

HIGH street retailer Matalan has changed its slogan to ‘For the mum who’s given up on life’.

The stockist of baggy ‘Let me sleep in’ T-shirts and ‘I love Prosecco’ tote bags has decided the new slogan perfectly encapsulates its customer base.

Matalan CEO Carolyn Ryan said: “Our clientele doesn’t shop here because they want to. They shop here because it’s the lowest common denominator and they can’t be ars*d making the effort to go anywhere else.

“Our new brand identity is aimed directly at harried mothers with several screaming children who just want to be able to get it all in one shop and go home.

“It’s great having such an undemanding deomgraphic. It makes my job that much easier.”

Regular Matalan shopper Nikki Hollis said: “Is it Matalan I go in? I didn’t know that. And frankly I don’t care.”