MCDONALD’S has become an ethical burger chain by a process of elimination.
Following protests against rival Byron Hamburgers’ role in an immigration sting, McDonald’s has somehow ended up being a fast food destination for left wing consumers concerned about workers’ rights.
A spokesman said: “We noticed something weird going on when we sold nine salads yesterday across the UK. Normally we sell one of those things every three years.
“There are customers in here reading Socialist Worker and listening to free jazz, I’d describe them as ‘beatniks’. Apparently they’re impressed by our management trainee programme and our policy of letting workers have unlimited fries.
“It’s lucky they don’t know how many people die pouring the lava into our apple pies.”
Tom Booker is a trainee ‘burgerlizer machine’ operator at McDonald’s: “It’s like a big metal drum. Cows walk in, burgers come out.
“My job is to press the red button. I’d never really thought about the ethical side too much but I suppose it’s better than a call centre.”