MCDONALD’S has revealed that its nuggets contain locally-sourced boy.
The restaurant chain is on a PR offensive following falling sales and concerns about why its food looks, smells and tastes like it does.
A spokesman said: “What happened was that a kid fell into one of the machines during a factory tour, and we got a lot of good feedback on the resulting nuggets.
“They say human meat tastes like chicken. We say it tastes more like chicken than chicken itself.
“But you can see it’s not the dreaded ‘pink slime’. Look at that tray of pure lean juvenile.”
The spokesman explained how homeless children are lured into the factory with a trail of chips.
“After pulping, we push the child paste through a big sieve which filters out the teeth and jewellery.”
Mother-of-two Emma Bradford said: “Meat’s meat, I suppose. Probably they should label their products ‘contains child’ but as long as there’s no added salt or sugar I’m happy.
“Also I’d like to know what the children had been fed and maybe have their pictures on the packaging.”