Sunday, 1st November 2020

Middle-class woman takes Waitrose bag to Aldi

A WOMAN has admitted feeling deeply ashamed for humiliating other shoppers by using a Waitrose bag at the Aldi tills.

Francesca Johnson, who uses the budget supermarket to buy her parmesan cheese, spices and smoked ham, believed she was blending in with the rest of the customers until her packing blunder.

She said: “I’d hidden the Range Rover at the far end of the car park, I’d left my pashmina on the passenger seat, and I’d tried to emulate that downcast little walk they all do. I thought I was very convincing.

“But then I reached the tills, pulled out my reusable Waitrose woven bag, and realised I’d made a mortifying error.

“Silence fell. The checkout girl’s face curdled. I could hear every rustle as I frantically threw in my unbelievably cheap organic hummus and prosciutto.

“Nobody said a word, but I knew they were all judging me. It was written right across their faces that this flash bitch wasn’t one of them.

“I scurried out flushed with shame. I can never show my face there again. Especially after that one woman mock-curtsied as I left.”