New Uniform Will Turn My Life Around, Says Tearful Mcdonald’s Worker
A NEW designer uniform is going to generate the most amazing improvement in overall quality of life, grateful McDonald's workers said last night.
Nikki Hollis, a flipper from Harlesden, said she was so happy with her new smock and little scarf that she could not wait to get home to her bedsit and show it off to her three year-old son Kyle.
She said the Bruce Oldfield designed outfits would make her the envy of all her friends, and brought home to her, once again, McDonald's high level of respect for its staff.
"As you can see it's 'mocha' which is all the rage in Milan this season. As soon as I slip these manmade fibres over my head I feel just like Sienna Miller on a night out in Malibu.
"Kyle may not have any toys, and be a bit stunted, but at least I've got something all scratchy to wrap him in when the electricity gets turned off. I think I'll change his name to Bruce."
Hollis added: "I suppose it might have been nice if they'd used the money to give us a pay rise, but it's okay because we already get to help ourselves from the leftover bucket."
Tom Logan, a fryer from Kent, said his new polo shirt was sexy and stylish, thanks to the thin coating of hi-tech spittle repellent.
He added: "We're so pleased with our uniforms we've composed a little thank-you song for the management. Would you like to hear it?"