No gender pay gap for interns earning bugger all

THE government has hailed the lack of any gender pay gap for unpaid interns as a ‘triumph for equality’. 

While institutions like the BBC struggle to close the pay gap between male and female stars, City firms companies are showing the way in paying young workers the square root of fuck-all, regardless of gender.

Norman Steele of brokers Knowles & Guyman said, “Here at the K&G family, we’re passionate about parity.

“So we ensure that all our interns, whether male, female, transgender or non-binary, receive a pay packet that is purely and cleanly empty without any hint of discrimination.

“We’re committed to breaking boundaries. No matter what the cost.”

21-year-old Nikki Hollis, who took a position at a national newspaper doing the coffee run, said: “It makes me feel empowered to know that I can look fellow interns who are male in the eyes and know that I am on exactly the same footing as them.

“Both of us at the end of the week can bask in the satisfaction that we’re both being equally ripped off. It’s called progress.”