Worker admits mistake

A WORKER who made a mistake did not then try to bullshit her way out of the situation, it has emerged.

Accounts executive Mary Fisher left a document containing confidential client information on a photocopier. When questioned by her boss, she admitted it was a careless mistake on her part and then got a bollocking.

Colleague Roy Hobbs said: “I don’t understand why she didn’t try to shift the blame, pretend she did it deliberately for some obscure reason or simply deny it ever happened.

“You don’t admit to doing things wrong, even things that are undeniably your fault, because that is not how the world works. She’s just thrown away her career and, by extension, her chance of a meaningful life.

“Perhaps she is mentally ill.”

Team leader Nikki Hollis said: “I can only think Mary is playing some sort of a long game. I bet she read a business book that says revealing your weaknesses can be a smart strategic move because it makes people want to tell you their secrets, or something.

“Nobody at work does anything without a devious, self-serving hidden motive. I’m going to be watching that bitch like a hawk.”

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Pegida also the name of a sexually transmitted disease

ANTI-ISLAM group Pegida shares its name with a type of nasty groin rash, it has emerged.

Doctors confirmed that pegida is a ‘sexually transmitted inflammation caused by tiny mites who travel down pubic hairs to burrow into the skin’.

GP Mary Fisher said: “When I saw those chumps on the news having a ruckus, I knew the name was somehow familiar.

“‘Pegida’, I thought, had to be either a type of piles ointment, a yeast infection or some other embarrassing type thing. I consulted a medical textbook and there it was.”

Pegida sufferer Tom Booker said: “I caught pegida from a girl I met at Aces nightclub in Gloucester. It’s not serious but it’s a bitch to get rid of, you have to get a special cream that smells weird.”

He added: “To be clear, I’m not a racist, I’m just a guy with itchy balls.”