Petrol prices ‘not caused by haunted pumps’

THE high cost of petrol may not be caused by poltergeists, it has emerged

The distinctive smell is caused by trapped souls

The distinctive smell is caused by trapped souls

Oil companies had insisted that fuel prices were high because of mischievous ghosts who lived in petrol pumps and could only get into heaven by increasing the cost of living.

And before the discovery of the first haunted forecourt, the companies said the price was dictated by ‘international moods’ or an algorithm based on the number of carbon molecules per litre, multiplied by the square root of the weather.

But now it has been claimed that the price of petrol is based on oil executives all agreeing to charge the same large amount of money.

Julian Cook, professor of price deciding at Roehampton University, said: “We can’t rule out ghosts just yet, but the idea that the price could be based on whatever they all want it to be is worthy of further inquiry.”

But Professor Cook said that any price fixing by the oil companies would have been incredibly complex and would have had to involve three key factors:

The desire to make vast amounts of money;

Unbridled contempt for the public;

And a series phone calls or emails.

He added: “At this stage it is no more than a theory that these three factors could even co-exist.

“For the time being, always remember to carry your your anti-poltergeist triangle.”