ROYAL Bank of Scotland executives are to use their six figure bonuses to buy Ferraris which they will then rev loudly right in front of your house.
The bankers said they wanted to thank you for all the money in a really insincere way which not only rubs it in but reminds you what idiots you've been.
An RBS spokesman said: "When you come to the window they will wave and shout 'cheers motherfucker!' before tooting the horn and driving the car the 20 yards to your neighbour's house where they will then repeat the process.
"Admittedly this will take up quite a lot of office time but when you get £20 billion from the taxpayer for, essentially, fucking up, work does tend to become less of a priority."
After the gloating the bankers will then drive their Ferraris to a rally in Hyde Park where they will hold a contest to decide who is most like Ferris Bueller.
Tom Logan, an executive in the small business division, said: "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."
He added: "This is my ninth sick day this semester. It's getting pretty tough coming up with new illnesses. If I go for ten, I'm probably gonna have to barf up a lung. So I better make this one count."
Logan then jumped on a passing float, grabbed the microphone and gave an outstanding rendition of Twist and Shout.