RBS said it will definitely move to London after independence, but admitted that must be really scary for Alex Salmond.Tornadoes: Scary and true
The Royal Bank of Scotland confirmed it will no longer be based in Scotland if Scotland becomes the sort of country that should really have a royal bank.
A spokesman said: “Were 81% owned by the UK government so its not like were going to move to Hawaii.
“So, London it is. We are definitely going.”
But SNP leader Alex Salmond said: “No youre not.”
The spokesman added: “Yes we are. Weve just said so.”
Salmond insisted: “No, youre not. Youre just trying to scare people.”
The spokesman said: “Were not actually trying to scare people, were running a business. But if people are scared, its probably because its a bit scary.
“Because its true.”
Salmond then accused the spokesman of working for MI6 before producing an ‘incriminating dossier’ consisting of random cuttings from local newspapers.
The RBS spokesman said: “Is everything okay?”