Stoke to become UK’s biggest Wetherspoons

THE city of Stoke is to become the UK’s largest branch of Wetherspoons following Britain’s exit from the European Union.

Wetherspoons chairman Tim Martin used his small face to announce the first of what he has termed ‘Megaspoons’, seating up to 200,000 desperate, cash-strapped punters.

The dream of the first ‘Megaspoons’ became a reality when Martin bought up the entire city of Stoke for £500,000 earlier this year.

It is understood that the citizens of Stoke who accepted their share of the Wetherspoons windfall are now looking to cash in and retire to Darlington.

Martin said other towns due to become Megaspoons over the next five years include Carlisle Workington, Gillingham, Mansfield, Clacton-On-Sea, Newport and Swindon.