CAPITALISM has confirmed that the more vital to society your work is, the less you therefore earn.
Workers who the country could not do without, for example nurses, truckers or supermarket staff, must earn a pittance compared to management consultants and pork futures traders because that is the way it is.
A Treasury spokesman said, “As someone who draws a six figure salary for a job a trained parrot could do, I applaud those in vital roles and regret that they must earn much less.
“Whether a binman, a cleaner, a bus driver, a delivery driver, a postman or one of the other people that keeps Britain running, your earnings must remain low as our tribute.
“Now is not the time to discuss an increase in salaries. To discuss monetary issues during a cost of living crisis would be vulgar and an insult to the genuine emotion of their work. They’re missionaries, not mercenaries.
“We couldn’t increase their pay without taking away everything that makes them so wonderful. If only I could be like them. But sadly, I have a huge house.”
The spokesman added: “Our adage is ‘Keep Calm And Carry On With A Unchanged Economic System’. Certainly makes sense to me.”
