Undercover reporters messing up your Amazon order

THOUSANDS of Amazon orders will be incorrect because its warehouses are mostly staffed by undercover journalists.

Amazon staff earn an average 35p per word

Amazon staff earn an average 35p per word

Over 80% of the retail behemoth’s frontline workforce are too busy writing about their working conditions to do their jobs properly.

An Amazon spokesman said: “The worse you treat undercover journalists the more they like it, which is a real boon for any employer, but sadly they’re so absorbed in composing their pieces they keep screwing up.

“As a result close to half of our Christmas orders will be incorrect, late, or appearing in short segments on tomorrow’s Newsnight.

“Anyway, if you’ll excuse me I just need to make a few notes on how stressed this press briefing has made me.

“Not that I’m a journalist or anything, I’m just…really keen on notes.”

Amazon customer Francesca Johnson said: “I ordered the new Arcade Fire album, and instead got a pocket tape recorder into which someone has dictated an article about timed toilet breaks.

“It’s actually quite good to listen to in the car, but it’s not what I asked for.”

Undercover reporter Julian Cook said: “The rapacious expansion of Amazon threatens to turn us all into 21st century serfs, which is why I’m selflessly seeking to expose its terrible working practices.

“It’ll make a great Sunday supplement article, but I’m really hoping people will be interested enough to buy an expanded version I’m publishing as a Kindle Single.”