Wetherspoons impossible to boycott

BRITONS who would like to boycott Wetherspoons because of its chairman’s political views have admitted it is impossible. 

Following Tim Martin’s endorsement of Brexit and subsequent demand that immigration rules be waived for his staff, Remainers considered a boycott before realising they would only be hurting themselves.

Drinker Tom Logan said: “We’d like to. We’d honestly like to. But post-Brexit we really need to drink.

“And not only do Wetherspoon’s do a solid breakfast for a very acceptable price, their bar prices mean you can party like it’s 1993 rather than slink home glumly after two rounds.

“They renovate nice buildings, educate you about obscure local historical figures, hire enough bartenders to actually get you served when it’s five deep at the bar, and don’t play any Ed fucking Sheeran.

“Boycott it? I’m there every night.”