WH Smith to modernise by doing video rentals

HIGH street newsagent WH Smith is pinning its hopes on renting out VHS and Betamax videos.

Recently voted ‘worst high street shop’, the chain is hitting back at claims of outdatedness by introducing video rental departments in all its stores.

A spokesman said: “Never let it be said that WH Smiths is afraid to embrace the future.

“You may not have heard of ‘video’ yet, but let me tell you it’s the way forward. Putting one of these large black plastic cassettes into a special ‘video player machine’ allows you to watch films or television programmes at your leisure.

“It’s like having your own telly channel! You can even ‘pause’ films if you need the toilet.”

WH Smith also confirmed its video rental departments will be stocking all the latest films including Beverly Hills Cop 2, Gremlins and Lethal Weapon.

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Meghan emails Airbnb host to ask if it's okay to bring armed guards

MEGHAN Markle has emailed an Airbnb host to ask if they have a policy on bringing a heavily-armed security detail.

While planning her and her husband’s honeymoon, the Duchess of Sussex used her Airbnb ID ‘Smeg83’ to check if the Spanish villa could accommodate a dozen men with high-powered rifles.

She wrote: “We will need to bring a small team of ex-SAS soldiers, however they are very clean and will not shoot anyone unless absolutely necessary. They won’t need bedrooms as they never sleep.

“Also, is there off-street parking for our hire car? And what’s the deal with the swimming pool, it says we need to pick up a key from the neighbour?”

She added: “We are members of the British royal family, just FYI in case you want to throw in a bottle of Prosecco and a grab bag of Doritos.”