ENERGY firms raking in billions of pounds of profit are at a loss as to why nobody is congratulating them.
Having doubled their year-on-year profits and smashed all previous records, BP was at least hoping for a supportive thumbs up.
A BP spokesman said: “How about a simple ‘well done’? Who would that harm?
“We’ve worked really hard getting oil and gas out of the ground and turning it into useful fuel, which is far from easy, and you like it well enough to burn but not enough to say ‘thanks, mate’ like you say to the barman after every pint.
“Guys. We made $23 billion in a year. That is objectively incredible. But not one of our loyal customers seems excited by our good fortune. Not even a text with a party face emoji.
“Admittedly, Shell made a couple bill more, so our profit seems like small potatoes in comparison. I promise we’ll do better next year. We can always raise costs.
“Come on though, £23 billion. Fair play to us, yeah?”
