A WOMAN is mortified after being told of all the wild shit she pulled while tripping on a post-cardio rush of endorphins.
Joanna Kramer, aged 32, thought she could handle a light jog around the park, before falling into a 5K sprint and horrifying a whole Starbucks with her crazed, elated behaviour afterwards.
Kramer said: “I woke after some carbs and a power nap, and realised just how off my f**king head I’d been.
“I got flashbacks of rocking up with a spring in my step, a smile on my face and a genuine zest for life, necking bottle after bottle of water. I apologised to the whole group chat.
“Then, privately, I tried to make amends with my boyfriend. I was chatting all kinds of nonsense about my mood being lifted, and stretching right in front of him. At one point, I tried to get him to do lunges. I was seriously gone.
“And the poor girls who looked after me in the toilets. Apparently I was so impressed with the health of my bowel movements I thought everyone should see.
“Turns out while I was peaking I paid £45 to enter a half-marathon, and there’s no refunds. These race pushers take advantage of people who don’t know when to stop.
“My sister had to pay for my taxi home. I could walk fine, but God know what would have happened if my brain had one more drop of exercise-induced dopamine.”