RICHARD Madeley believes women’s bodies are fair game for his breakfast analysis, so biomedicial scientist Dr Eleanor Shaw is going over his physique:
Starting at the top, Madeley’s head sits at the zenith of his 6ft 2ins frame, and has the rare distinction of being an almost perfect oblong. His hair is Clairol ‘Goldilocks grey’, with thick tresses tumbling down his forehead like a wheel of cheese down a hill. His eyes are startlingly blue against the redness of his skin.
The Madester has brazenly dared to bare for Daily Mail paparazzi flying drones over his garden, so we know perky pecs give way to a modest paunch fully in line with the Dadbod trend. A hint of bicep reminds us that Judy is a lucky lady indeed.
Shy Richard has yet to pose nude on his Instagram, but leaked behind-the-scenes This Morning footage confirms that only raw masculine power lies beneath the GMB desk. A sprinkling of freckles on his upper thigh have never held him back professionally and only serve to humanise.
Frequent pedicures and a weekly foot-scrub ensure that Richard is at the top of his game at the bottom of his body. His face-down sunbed game ensure that the soles are as unsettlingly tanned as the rest of him.
Richard Madeley’s attention to his body makes him a credit to his profession. And he shouldn’t find this at all creepy or objectifying and should take it as a compliment.