Saturday, 8th May 2021

Johnson sells Britain to Peruvian drug lord

BRITAIN belongs to a Peruvian drug lord after an ‘accident’ by Boris Johnson.

Officials confirmed that shortly after taking office, the prime minister answered the door to a ‘salesmen’ who claimed he had an appointment.

A Downing Street spokesman said: “The chap had a Powerpoint presentation and some pamphlets and basically the upshot is by next week we all have to speak Spanish and hand over all the food in our cupboards.

“Boris seems very pleased with the briefcase full of odd-looking currency they left him, despite the fact the notes spell '50' wrong.”

It is not known if Britain's new owner wants to keep the country intact before selling it on, or break it down for parts.

Meanwhile, a friend if Johnson added: “We're keeping him occupied by pretending we need his help to beat up a journalist. He likes that.”