THE UK has enjoyed a memorable Christmas, with the exception of the hundreds of thousands self-isolating and the Queen’s second son.
The country has enjoyed feasting, parties and merriment unless unlucky enough to catch the Omicron variant or unlucky enough to have no witnesses to a particular evening in Woking Pizza Express.
Bill McKay of Wrexham said: “It’s been a classic festive period. Though not for me, because I tested positive on Christmas Eve, and not for Prince Andrew because a close associate’s been convicted on five counts of sex trafficking.
“I had to spend the whole time at home, unable to leave because of a positive test. Though it only lasted seven days, so not like being confined to Balmoral indefinitely.
“Normally the Royal Family doesn’t do anything more entertaining than going to church in outfits at Christmas, so stepping it up into a court battle centred on the Duke of York has been very welcome to those of us trapped in.
“I’ve no idea where I got Covid from, just like the Prince has no idea why a photo exists with his arm round Virginia Giuffre with Ghislaine Maxwell in the background. But as he’s found, there’s no denying it.
“Anyway, I didn’t lose my sense of smell and apparently there’s no evidence he lost his ability to sweat. Thankfully I’m feeling much recovered now. I can’t say the same for Prince Andrew.”