Coleen Rooney: It was heartbreaking taking our Wayne to get neutered

COLEEN Rooney has spoken about the tough decision to have her husband neutered following allegations of his philandering.

In the tell-all documentary Coleen Rooney: The Real Wagatha Story, the wife of former England player Wayne Rooney lifted the lid on the day she took her husband in to be castrated.

Coleen said: “Seeing his little eyes staring at me as I loaded him into the back of the Range Rover was devastating. I tried telling him we were just off for a kickabout in the park, but he knew something else was going on.

“His behaviour has always been an issue, and there comes a time when you just have to say ‘Look, Wayne, if I see photos of you in The Sun necking one more woman I’m going to have your goolies surgically removed’.

“It’s not a decision I took lightly, but sometimes you have to do what’s best for your husband, and in this case that was taking him to a discreet private medical centre to have his balls lopped off.

“The next day, when we were able to bring him home, he looked so forlorn. He kept trying to wriggle out of his cone to chew at the stitches, but we managed to calm him down with a jam butty and a legendary football goals compilation.”

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Being able to see or hear overrated, decides edgy bar

A COOL new bar has chosen to make its interior so dark and noisy that you are unable to look at or talk to people in it.

Bar manager Tom Booker carefully developed the venue’s design with the aim of making conversation and navigation impossible, in order to give patrons a thoroughly frustrating experience.

Booker said: “It’s a common misconception that people come to bars to talk and enjoy themselves. 

“They actually come to be held hostage by thumping bass and to wonder what they’re doing with their lives when they fall down the shadowy stairs to the one grim toilet. It’s like Stockholm Syndrome, and people like that. Eventually.

“What customers want is a sensory hellscape where they can barely see their own hands in front of them. The only thing they should be able to make out is the neon lights of the bar, which they will be drawn to like a moth and then feel the need to buy an £18 drink called a Slutsucker.

“To make it as disorientating as possible, the décor is a cross between a Victorian parlour and a sex dungeon. The music is terrible and repeats every hour, essentially torturing the staff, which to be honest is what people who aspire to be ‘mixologists’ or ‘cocktail artists’ deserve.”

Customer Lauren Hewitt said: “I love this bar! It’s terrible for socialising with people you like, but I had a great night there with my parents. I couldn’t hear anything they said and lost them when I went to the bathroom. They’re probably still in there somewhere.”