YOU should be like this eerie 40s-style family, it has been confirmed.
Following the completion of their household by a less significant female child, the Cambridges became the national template for a perfect, slightly creepy life.
A government spokesman said: ““On the surface it couldn’t be more idyllic but there’s also something deeply and instinctively unnerving about it all.
“Dad does a manly job, wears v-neck jumpers and doesn’t fret about male pattern baldness, mum dotes on the kids while wearing a frightened rictus grin.
“For entertainment, they sit around listening to patriotic hymns on an old Bakelite radio while their vaguely demonic toddler son pushes yet another nanny down the stairs.
“Anyway, that’s how you should be.”