DiCaprio’s face frozen in self-satisfied smirk

DOCTORS are fighting to remove the smug half-smile from Leonardo DiCaprio’s face, it has emerged.

The Best Actor Oscar winner called an ambulance at 5am after being unable to return his facial muscles to a neutral position.

Surgeon Tom Booker said: “Years of looking pleased with himself have caused Leo’s face to lock into an expression of extreme self-satisfaction.

“It’s very painful and although the face says ‘I really am the shit’ if you look closely you can see the cold terror behind his eyes.”

Doctors are using a combination of deep tissue massage and telling him the The Great Gatsby was really quite poor.

Booker said: “Leo seems to have a charmed life of having sex with models in a massive house full of gold trinkets. But all he really wants is the ability to do the pissed-off facial expression of a normal person opening their fridge to discover there’s no milk.”