Bacon works on Muslims like garlic on vampires, claims racist

A RACIST believes pork products can cause Muslims to burn up and crumble into dust.

Martin Bishop, from Croydon, has written to his MP suggesting the military applications of gammon, pork and ham should be explored as a matter of urgency.

He said: “There are already drivers smearing bacon fat on their lorries to deter migrants, and the only issue is the constant spontaneous combustions can keep them awake.

“But we should be hanging up bacon crucifixes at Tube stations to deter terrorists, giving our policemen pork belly body armour, and issuing the public with sausage guns.

“They’re basically Nerf guns that fire sausages. Harmless fun for innocent Brits; deadly to ISIS.

“I myself carry two slices of honey-roast ham in my jacket pockets at all times, so if it comes to a throw down with a terrorist I can deliver an instantly explosive punch.

“Sometimes on the way home, if the terror threat level’s moderate or below, I eat it.”