ONE of Fergie’s kids, the one with the slightly vacant expression, is marrying a spiv, apparently.
The kid is maybe called Hermione or Jocasta and the wedding will be on the telly and cost two million quid.
She will be given away by her idiot dad who mostly plays golf and hangs out with some very dodgy geezers.
Experts said her mum, Fergie Ferguson, the ginger one who got her toe sucked by some American spiv, will be all over this like a fucking rash.
It is understood the groom is called either Barry or Mick. He has an expensive complexion and runs a pub.
So there you go.