Harry and Meghan to follow wedding ceremony with massive Waitrose shop

PRINCE Harry and Meghan Markle are to follow their May 19th wedding with a big shop at the Windsor branch of Waitrose.

The couple will go by carriage from the ceremony, at the 15th-century St George’s Chapel, to the store’s site at King Edward Court where they will disembark, get a trolley, and enter.

They are then expected to go through the fresh section, where they will choose numerous items in line with their public commitment to healthy living, before loading the trolley with ready meals and luxury puddings for the first week of their married life.

Royal correspondent Denys Finch Hatton said: “This really shows how dedicated they are to living their lives like ordinary people. But not too ordinary. Ordinary but better.

“The Royal couple are positioning themselves as aspirational but accessible, as long as you’re in the south or one of the smarter parts of Yorkshire, and saying it’s okay to buy supermarket own-brands as long as it’s the right supermarket.

“William and Kate get their shop delivered from M&S, of course, but he is heir to the throne. That comes with responsibilities.”

Following the wedding, Meghan is expected to trigger the couple’s first official marital row when she says she does not understand why it is any better than Sainsbury’s.

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93 percent of adults still slightly afraid of the toilet monster

ALMOST every adult is still a little bit afraid the toilet monster might be real, it has been confirmed.

The Institute for Studies found that 93 percent of adults feel a moment of anticipation that the monster will rise from the lavatory and drag them down into its underworld kingdom.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “While all of our subjects had different ideas about what the toilet monster looks like, and what he’ll do to you once he gets you, everybody agreed that the monster presents an immediate danger to their lives.”

Tom Booker, a participant in the study, said: “He only appears at night, and flushing wakes him.

“You have until the toilet stops flushing to be safely back in bed, or you’re toast. You have to run as fast as you can, which is even harder when the floor is lava.

“Forget about washing your hands. There is no time.”