AT this point, to assert that Danny Dyer is heterosexual is not just ignorant. It is an act of wilful blindness to the myriad clues he has left his fans.
Perhaps early on, the hints to his queer identity were better hidden. Many viewers of Danny Dyer’s Deadliest Men entirely missed the homosexual subtext, though it glared out like an oiled twink under a mirrorball.
But to those who still offensively maintain he is het, look at the evidence. Look at The Football Factory, where he spends every moment with men engaging in vicious fistfights that are mere stand-ins for sodomy.
Look at his performance in 2012’s Run For Your Wife where he plays a bigamist – a man living a double life – in a performance so unconvincing nobody who saw it could ever believe he was heterosexual ever again. But so few did.
Look at EastEnders: how did Mick first appear? In a kimono. In that moment Danny came out to a world that just wasn’t ready to hear it, that stuck its fingers in its ears and sang la, la, la.
His long marriage, his three children, his rumoured affair with Sarah Harding? All as nothing compared to the rainbow trail of sourdough challah crumbs he’s been leaving behind for those attuned.
We pity you for deluding yourselves. For not seeing what shines out of Danny. For ignoring him when he says ‘I’m here, I’m a ginger, get f**king used to it you slags.’
Mick will soon return to EastEnders. He will arrive and resume his position as landlord of the Queen Vic with his new partner, Max Branning. The Christmas special will be their marriage, and the world will cheer.