THE estate of Michael Jackson has signed a record breaking contract and vowed not to spend it all on funfairs, hush money and giraffes.
The £133m deal with Sony Music will involve 10 new ways of re-releasing the same songs and eight brand new albums of never-before heard versions of the same songs.
Nathan Muir, a lawyer for the Jackson estate, said: "It seems millions of people around the world really did like Michael's talent, but disliked other things about him such as his breathing and his heartbeat."
Muir admitted it was ironic the superstar would be making more money than ever, but stressed a dead Michael Jackson was much cheaper to maintain than a live one.
"Many people were amazed that Michael had run out of money, but rollercoasters and talkative little boys with the tell-tale whiff of sherry on their breath do cost an absolute fortune.
"And of course giraffes are the most expensive animal you can keep as a pet. Especially if you like to dress them up in eight foot long silk stockings and tailor-made, cashmere snoods."
He added: "This time the money will go to Michael's children. And their lawyers. And their lawyer's lawyers. And their lawyer's lawyer's lawyer's lawyers. Their lawyer's lawyer's lawyers can go to hell.
"And if there's enough left then maybe one suit of armour for one medium-sized giraffe."