TRUMP has used the death of Jesse Jackson to be mildly racist, mention himself and attack Barack Obama. Here are more of his tributes to the recently deceased:
Val Kilmer
Val based Iceman in Top Gun on me. He’d call for advice on how to get inside the head of a handsome, successful alpha male who dates beautiful women. ‘Just copy me,’ I told him. ‘And tell the director to make the film about training US Navy fighter aces, not competitive kayaking.’
Jesse Jackson
Jesse had street smarts, because he was black. Also a great sense of rhythm and was a basketball natural. People are surprised we knew each other, but all the blacks love me. He was a great man I respected deeply and I think, when it came down to it, he’d agree I proved white people are best.
James Van Der Beek
James came to me for acting tips because I was in Home Alone 2, which grossed more than Star Wars, did you know that? I was a great inspiration to him so it’s sad he’s dead. It won’t be sad when Joe Biden’s dead. He’ll get the worst tortures in Hell, burning pitchforks up his ass, screaming in agony forever. Yes, James will be sadly missed.
Ozzy Osbourne
I knew all the top people in the 1980s. I told Ozzy to write about paranoia which my wife had at the time because I’d hinted I could have her murdered. He did and it was the biggest hit in history. Taylor Swift wishes she could have hits like that, but she can’t. She’s ugly too. Horrible in every way you can think of. Makes you sick to look at her.
Robert Duvall
I persuaded Robert Duvall to be in The Godfather. He said to me: ‘Don, I don’t think anyone’s interested in the Mafia. I’m going to be in Night of the Lepus instead. People love killer rabbits.’ I said to him: ‘No, Robbie, The Godfather will be a success, but make sure you get a guy called Al Pacino.’ Really Francis Ford Coppola should give his Oscar to me.
Professor Stephen Hawking
Still sharp until the day he died. Not like Biden. That guy was a joke. You know his mind’s gone and he thinks he won the 2020 election? Kamala rigged the voting machines, we have video of it. I’ll release it when I’m not so busy making America hot like people are saying no one has ever seen in a totally unprecedented way before.
Dame Joan Plowright
A legend of the British stage, Joan was a piece of ass in her youth. No Ivanka, but I’d have put her in Miss Teen USA when she was 14. A sad loss to the world, which Obama won’t be. When he dies they’ll be dancing in the streets saying ‘Thank God this corrupt, ludicrous, narcissistic piece of shit is dead’, which will happen and is in no way projection.
