Just keep having babies, Britain tells Royals

THE Royal family can be as fascist as it wants, as long as it keeps producing lovely babies, it has been agreed.

As the Queen and Prince Philip faced new questions on their love of Hitler, people across the country stressed they could not care less.

Royal expert Denys Finch-Hatton: “As with all Royal ‘controversies’, it’s not remotely important. No-one gives a shit, except those really pernickety, self-loathing Guardian readers who no-one listens to anyway.”

Margaret Gerving, from Ashford, said: “If I’m honest I’m probably at least 80 per cent fascist. I literally hate everyone, except Princess Charlotte.

“If the Royal Family wants to seize control and put most people in some sort of camp, that’s fine by me. I just need a new Royal baby every 12 to 18 months and the subsequent souvenir edition of the Daily Mail.

“And presumably the Daily Mail would also be happy with all of that.”