Friday, 14th May 2021

Kate and William seen boarding Megabus

THE Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have dealt another PR blow to rivals Harry and Meghan by being pictured taking their family to Aberdeen by Megabus. 

William and Kate showed off their perfect regal poise as they stepped aboard the budget service for the 14-hour journey, deftly ignoring the stale odour and the man who is either asleep or dead on the back seat.

Passenger Wayne Hayes said: “Wow. They have made Meghan look like such an ars*hole.

“William put everyone perfectly at their ease by playing hardcore hip hop through a Bluetooth speaker and the children each had a can of Monster energy drink.

“And Kate, marvellous Kate, whipped out a Greggs bag and made delightful conversation with the woman next to her about how unfair it was her benefits had been sanctioned because Dazza is a f**king grass.

“Covered in crumbs from a cheese and onion pasty, fiddling elegantly with the strictly ornamental air-con nozzle, Kate truly is the people’s princess.”

A royal insider said: “Meghan’s furious. Her and Harry have bought matching Lonsdale hoodies and are setting themselves up in Mansfield Wetherspoons for the afternoon.”