Kevin McCloud over-budget, living in caravan and pregnant

KEVIN McCloud’s eco-friendly housing project is massively over-budget while the presenter is living on-site in a caravan and eight months pregnant, it has emerged. 

McCloud, who managed the project himself, has already had to sell his old house, remortgage the property, get financial help from his parents, spend his life savings and abandon his plans to retire.

But the Grand Designs frontman, who has been living in a one-bed caravan with his estranged wife and seven children for the last 38 months, maintains that everything is going according to plan.

He said: “Well, there were always going to be a few bumps in the road, but I’m still confident we’ll be in by Christmas.

“We just need to do the roof, the walls, the windows, all the electrical fitting, the bespoke bentwood spiral staircase has to be shipped from Germany and lifted in by crane, and the entire exterior needs to be hand-tiled while I apply for retrospective planning permission.

“Yes, perhaps I was a little over-ambitious and it’s not the ideal time for a new addition to the family, but the integrity of the build remains intact. And that’s the important thing.”

The project will next be seen in seven years time when McCloud, with markedly less hair, arrives to film a closing segment to find himself living there alone trying to finish the whole thing single-handed.

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It'll be just like The Good Life, say cheerful no-dealers

NO-DEAL Brexiters claim that after October 31st life will be a jolly self-sufficient romp growing vegetables, keeping pigs and having it off with Felicity Kendal. 

Optimistic EU-haters firmly believe that a no-deal Brexit will bring the country together with its upper-middle class neighbours while keeping chickens and pigs.

Norman Steele, head of pro-Brexit organisation Just Get On With It, said: “The Good Life represents Britain before the socialists ruined everything with the Winter of Discontent.

“Richard Briers’s decision to leave the rules-driven world of commercial advertising behind to live as a freeborn Englishman on his own plot of English land is directly analogous to the 2016 vote.

“After no-deal, without pernicious EU imports to worry about, we’ll be happily living in our large houses in Surbiton, mashing up turnips, getting tipsy on peapod wine and enjoying a saucy cuddle with the Rear of the Year 1981.

“Just like Tom and Barbara Good, we won’t have children to worry about; in their case because they don’t have them, in ours because we don’t give a sh*t.

“Sod them with their haircuts and their phones and their competing visions of Britain’s future. Get your own vegetable patches. This is our fantasy and we want it now.”