A 28-YEAR-OLD British man has resigned himself to the inevitability of a relationship with Taylor Swift.
Nathan Muir of Hartlepool, a fabrication welder, has confirmed that he qualifies through both his nationality and his height and is stoically waiting his turn.
He said: “It’s not like I’m dreading it. I mean I’m sure it’ll be quite fun.
“But I’m saving for a mortgage, I’m ready to settle down, and now I’ve got to hang around until Tay Tay sweeps me up for a whirlwind global romance that’s simultaneously magical and grounded.
“It’s just not particularly convenient right now. I asked if I could be brought forward to get it done with a bit quicker but apparently there’s no jumping the queue.
“Ah well. I suppose this is what it was like when they still had National Service.”