Middle-aged female celebrities all going out with same man

EVERY middle-aged female celebrity is in a relationship with the same man, it has emerged.

Called Lee, Dean or Justin, the man likes going to the gym and claims to be a property developer although he mainly works as a bouncer at a scary nightclub in Swindon.

Lee/Dean/Justin is currently going out with Kerry Katona, Melanie Sykes, two of the Spice Girls and almost certainly Katie Price.

Lee/Dean/Justin said: “I’m pretty easygoing really. I like banter and talking selfies. They’re great. I also like eating food.

“I really love whoever I’m going out with, whatever their name or names are, and I think they’re ‘the one’. I’m getting a tattoo of their face on my massive waxed thigh.”

He added: “I am doing cage fighting in Milton Keynes tomorrow. I think there’s still some tickets on the door.”