Colleague selflessly keeping entire office updated on her sleeping patterns

A WOMAN has diligently kept her colleagues updated on the exact number of minutes of sleep she is getting each night.

As part of her morning routine, Susan Traherne makes it her duty to inform every colleague of exactly how well or poorly she slept the previous night.

Stephen Malley said: “Susan’s sleep diaries are like a soap that you never meant to watch but are now strangely addicted to.

“I find myself getting tense as she relays in painstaking detail whether or not she got a solid eight hours or was woken at 2 a.m. by the neighbour’s dog.

“By the time she comes to her dramatic conclusion and theorises a link between eating cheese late at night and poor sleep quality, it’s more or less time for lunch.”

Traherne said: “Even when I’m sick or on holiday I call in and get put on speakerphone so I can let everyone know how the night went, so they aren’t wondering.

“As a real treat for everyone I’m planning to bring in my dream diary next week and to conduct a series of readings from my desk.”