Only people who still want Brexit are inexplicably angry posh couple with two labradors

NOBODY can be arsed with Brexit except an angry upper class couple with multiple dogs, it has emerged.

After an EU court confirmed that Brexit could be cancelled and everyone else agreed that seemed like quite a good idea, a wealthy middle-aged couple from the Cotswolds said that they were absolutely fucking furious.

51-year-old Denys Finch-Hatton, who drives a Subaru full of dog hair, said: “We’ve said we’re going to do it and we’re sodding well going to do it. It’s ridiculous.

“I read an article in the Telegraph and we’ve got two Labradors. So that’s that. It has to happen.”

He added: “They’re out to get us.”

Fiinch-Hatton’s wife Julian said: “It’s all a disgrace. I use the same post office as Samantha Cameron and I’m going to give her a bloody good piece of my mind. Bloody bastards. They’re all bastards.”

She added: “We’ve got two Labradors. They’re smashing. We’re getting a painting of them done.”

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Man wondering if Carphone Warehouse is okay after day without sales call

A MAN with a mobile contract that is soon to expire is worried about the staff at Carphone Warehouse after going 24 hours without a call.

Tom Logan felt bereft when he did not receive either his pre-work or early evening call from a sales assistant offering him a limited-time-only upgrade.

Logan said: “I just hope everyone at the Carphone Warehouse is okay, something terrible must have happened for them not to call. I may have been a bit cold with them at first but I’ve come to enjoy our twice or thrice daily catch-ups.

“I ask about how Susan’s daughter is getting on at school or whether Neeraj ever did buy that motorbike. They ask me about my mobile date requirements and outline seven possible packages that could save me money today.

“They can’t be calling someone else instead to offer them a 24-month contract that’s just perfect for them can they?

“That would kill me.”