THE middle classes are not going to do anything without getting Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall’s explicit permission.
As the campaigning fop-forager unexpectedly withdrew his support for mackerel, wood-burning stove owners have found themselves unable to make further decisions without first knowing what Hugh thinks.
Father-of-two Tom Logan said: “The mackerel thing has just freaked me right out. It’s triggered total Hugh-based insecurity.
“What would Hugh think about these trousers I’m wearing? Would Hugh like my wife, or deem her unsuitable for me?
“Does Hugh think it’s ok to watch Holby City?
“I’m just staying on this chair until Hugh calls me on my mobile.”
Architect Emma Bradford said: “Dear god, the sands of Hugh’s approval are constantly shifting.
“Now I desperately need Hugh to tell me what I think. Not just about diet, but also about whether I might be a lesbian.
“Also cars, what is a good diesel hatchback? Hugh would know that. And more immediate things, like am I allowed to go to the toilet.
“What I feel towards Hugh is a mixture of love and terror.”