Prince Harry called up to join The Fall

PRINCE Harry has been called up to play bass in The Fall.

The prince will undergo an intensive training regime to bring him up to speed with the band’s new material, before undertaking¬†two tours of the north-west this summer.

Prince Harry said: “Being in The Fall is something most young British men have to go through at some point in their lives. Why should I be any different?

“The experience will give me a unique chance to learn about hard graft and discipline, as well as occult horror and existential philosophy.

“I hope to do my country – and Mark E Smith – proud, and pay fitting tribute to all the heroic men and women who have served in The Fall before me.”

Fall keyboardist Elena Poulou said: “He may be fourth in line to the throne, but he’ll be expected to muck in like the rest of us, and allow Mark to fuck with his bass amp during gigs.”

“If he¬†knuckles down, he could find himself promoted to guitarist, second drummer or even the highest rank a Fall member can achieve – someone who gets booted out and then has a song written about them, slagging them off.”