Wednesday, 19th February 2020

Queen abandons lifelong dream of complete control of romantic and professional lives of her whole family

THE Queen is reportedly ‘in pieces’ after being forced to abandon her dream of everyone in her family doing exactly as they are told forever. 

Her Royal Majesty, already forced to accept that her selfish children and grandchildren would not marry who she had chosen, yesterday discovered she could not even control their jobs or country of residence.

She said: “Ever since I was a little girl I had a wonderful, magical dream of everyone doing what I wanted without question.

“But Charles didn’t like the wife I chose for him, and my sister and daughter both got divorced even though I forbade it. The only one who’s stayed married is Edward, and I think we all know why.

“And now Harry refuses to dedicate the rest of his life to walking around, waving, and watching his wife called a monstrous bitch by the newspapers. Why?

“I am the monarch and head of the Church of England, but still I am disobeyed as if I were nothing than a meddling old woman with unrealistic expectations.

“Might go and shoot a stag. Always cheers me up.”