SPENDING by the Royal Household has increased from a serious wedge to a shitload, according to official accounts.
The Royal Family's appetite for luxury continues to expand with vast sums being spent on exotic food, international jousting competitions and Aston Martins.
A Palace spokesman said: "Being a member of the Royal Family is a job. They work very hard and are not just a bunch of millionaires who spend most of their time on holiday or pretending to be interested in things."
Prince Philip's fondness for eating rare animals led to £2 million being spent on a gigantic silver pot for cooking whole white rhinos.
Meanwhile the Queen's peas continue to be delivered individually in more than 250 horse-drawn carriages.
The system costs £28 million a year and turns Norfolk into a no-go area.
The Queen also spent £75 million organising the annual Fat Man Derby in the grounds of Windsor Castle.
The event attracts fat men from all over the world who run for their lives across open parkland pursued by a panther.
It's the Queen's favourite event of the year and has her "doubled-up with laughter" according to Royal experts.