Buckingham Palace gift incinerator at maximum capacity

THE Royal gift incinerator is working at maximum capacity, it has been confirmed.

A Buckingham Palace spokesman said: “Hand-made cards done by crayon-wielding idiots, boxes of plebby chocolates, crummy garage flowers…

“It’s going to take years to burn all this stuff, with a team of nine gift-cremators working around the clock.

“That’s not to say the royal family don’t appreciate getting these presents. They use the energy to heat the palace.”