NEPO Babies inherit looks, wealth and too often fame, but banging these celebrity offspring just wouldn’t have the same kudos as their parents:
Rumer Willis
Not many babes can equal the sustained hotness of Demi Moore in the 90s. Every time she had a sex scene in a movie it made headlines, and she had one in every movie. She was a Gen X sexual icon. Rumer was Lion on The Masked Singer in 2019.
Jaden Smith
Will Smith is a hugely likeable actor, Hollywood legend and staunch defender of his family’s honour who has yet to put a foot wrong. Jaden Smith was in After Earth and wore a white Batman suit to Kanye and Kim’s wedding. His big scene in After Earth was getting trapped in a bird’s nest.
Leni Klum
Leni is very attractive, genetically, but Heidi is the one most blokes have fancied at least in passing at some point. Also you’d feel it was your moral duty to say something about their weird mum-and-daughter lingerie shoots, which the 19-year-old you’re shagging will point out is pretty f**king hypocritical.
Damien Hurley
Sleeping with Damien rather than Liz is only really a problem here if you’re bisexual and prefer Liz. The whole situation is made stranger by Damien taking all of Liz’s many bikini shots. Your mum works in an office and never asks you to whip out the Polaroid and take pictures of her tits.
Lily-Rose Depp
Poor Lily-Rose. It’s hard to compete on looks with Vanessa Paradis, and based on The Idol she’s not blessed with her father’s acting skills. And if you were a couple you might have to spend Christmas at Johnny Depp’s with him f**ked off his head shagging the turkey and smoking the sprouts.
Brooklyn Beckham
He’s presentable enough, but you wouldn’t tell your mates in the pub ‘Guess what? I shagged Brooklyn Beckham!’ with the same enthusiasm as Rebecca Loos did to the News of the World about his dad. The reaction is likely to be ‘That twat who can’t cook?’ and you’ll regret mentioning it.
Laurence Fox
Britain doesn’t waste the man-hours it used to fantasising about sex with Laurence at his 2020 peak. In comparison his father James Fox, star of Thoroughly Modern Millie and Performance and not a fringe right-wing arsehole, is a catch. The country can rest assured Billie Piper almost certainly did his dad on the way out.
